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Mass Effect Kink Meme: PART VIII

"We have no beginning. We have no end. We are infinite. Millions of years after your civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, the kink meme will endure."


Post your requests anonymously, and fill any prompts that catch your eye. We’re not picky around here; anything goes. Fanart or fanfic, het, femslash, slash, threesomes and moresomes, or just gen-fic; as long as it’s part of the Mass Effect universe, there’s a place for it here.

  • All posts must be anonymous, be they prompts, fills, or comments.
  • Every new prompt should be a new post. Indexing’s impossible otherwise.
  • Pictures should be linked to, not inserted directly into the meme. Be nice to people with slow connections!
  • No flames! We like a friendly atmosphere. If something’s not to your taste, just ignore it. If you see someone else causing problems, message me – don’t feed the trolls!
  • No plagiarism. Didn’t think I’d have to point that out, but some people didn’t seem to get the message. If someone’s already written a story that fills a prompt, feel free to link to it, but don’t repost it and claim it as your own.
  • No underage content. Use some basic common sense for what applies here.
  • Give back to the community! Try and write something for every prompt you leave. If you don’t think you’re up to writing, at least leave feedback on stories you enjoyed. Nobody likes putting effort into a story and getting silence in return.
  • The character limit per comment is 4300 – Break your story into 600-700 word chunks, and you shouldn’t have any problems.
  • When posting a story for an old prompt on this meme, please repost the original prompt here, then post the story as a reply to it - otherwise, everyone has to scroll past long stories to see the newest comments on a page!
  • Multiple fills are always welcome!
  • We run fill-a-thons every few weeks, during which new prompts aren’t allowed. If you post one by mistake, don’t worry – I repost them at the end of the week.
  • If your posts aren't showing up, try logging in and looking again for them - anonymous browsing sometimes causes problems for some reason.
  • It’s ‘Kaidan’, not ‘Kaiden’.

If there’s any problems or suggestions you wish to make, please PM me, and I will deal with the problem shortly. Or post them here:

Mass Effect Kink Meme: Questions and Suggestions Thread


MassKink, Part One / MassKink, Part Two / MassKink, Part Three / MassKink, Part Four / MassKink, Part Five / MassKink, Part Six / MassKink, Part Seven / MassKink, Part Eight / MassKink, Part Nine / MassKink, Part Ten

MassKink ME3, Part One / MassKink ME3, Part Two

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  • 1

Happily Ever After 1/?

Mirianne popped her head out of the kitchenette. She had a pitcher of drinks in one hand and three glasses balancing precariously in the other. Her blue eyes glittered with excitement.

“Has it started yet?”

“Just the pre-ceremony coverage,” Sarina replied primly. “Did you know that all the floral arrangements have a species native to each of the HSA’s colonies as well as one from Earth?”

“Get in here!” Bel shouted. “Bring the whole pitcher.”

Mirianne ran around the counter, her short blonde bob bouncing in time with each step. She sat the pitcher on the coffee table and passed glasses around before flopping onto the couch next to her friends and kicking her heels up on the table. Sarina picked up the pitcher and poured drinks for everyone. She raised her glass and Bel followed suit, smacking Mirianne on thigh to get her attention.

Sarina cleared her throat, “To Majors Alenko and Shepard. May we all find the happily ever afters that they have!”

“Cheers!” Bel and Mirianne intoned as they clinked their glasses together. Bel continued, “To true love! Which Miri will certainly never find with Jonah.” She took a gulp from her glass and looked playfully over the rim at their hostess who was sticking her tongue out.

Sarina came to Mirianne’s defense. “You’re one to talk, Bel!” She sat her glass down and pulled her copper curls into a ponytail. “At least Mirianne’s been on a date in the past eight weeks. When are you gonna end this drought?”

“It’s not a drought,” Bel pouted, “I just have very high standards.”

Mirianne picked the remote up from the table and flipped through the channels before settling on Westerlund News. All the major news networks were covering the biggest galactic event since the Reaper Invasion 18 months ago. Though the Citadel had taken heavy damage, reminiscent of when the Geth attacked, the rebuilding effort was being conducted quickly and efficiently. There were areas that were still in disarray, like the ward where Mirianne had her apartment, making getting to work an all but impossible chore, but this particular corner of the Presidium was pristine, as befitted the storybook wedding of the century.

There were floral garlands draping the center aisle of the expanse of white folding chairs. Reportedly there would be over 500 guests in attendance, friends, family, and heads of state, not to mention the throngs who would likely surround the Presidium Commons hoping the catch a glimpse of the couple. Mirianne reflected on whether or not this was the wedding the couple had intended, or if they had bowed to pressure from the galactic community. At the end of the aisle was a floral covered arbor under which the couple would stand during the ceremony. Whether it was what they had planned or not, Mirianne thought that it looked absolutely spectacular. And she hadn’t even seen any pictures of the venue for the reception.

“You know, we could’ve headed down there to see it in person,” Mirianne said.

“And deal with crowds?” Sarina replied. “No thank you. Besides, I want to get a good view of her dress. I heard she’s wearing vintage, from the 30s.”

“Plus, I doubt there’s an open bar, and you make such tasty beverages, Miri.” Bel added, taking a sip to demonstrate. “And I thought she was going to wear her Alliance dress uniform.”

“No, that’s him, Bel.”

“Well there’s no reason they couldn’t both wear them. It’s traditional, after all.” She drained her glass. “Another round, ladies?”

Bel refilled her glass and topped off the other girls’.

Re: Happily Ever After 2/?

Mirianne sighed, “You know, Major Alenko is probably the perfect man. He looks fantastic in that uniform. I mean, have you seen his butt?”

Sarina shook her head and scrunched her face. “No way,” she protested, “I like ‘em bigger, lots of muscles. That Commander Vega is more my type.”

Bel shrugged. “To each her own.”

“Oh come on, Bel, you can decide the argument. Major Alenko, or Commander Vega?” Mirianne entreated.

“Actually,” Bel replied, “the best man’s more my type.”

“The Turian?” Sarina asked incredulously.

“Well he does have that bad-boy aura that surrounds him,” Mirianne supplied. She took a sip of her cocktail. “And Bel did date that Asari last year.”

“And the Drell, too, remember?” Sarina added. “He was smokin’ hot. How’d you pull that one Bel?”

“What can I say? I have a thing for scales,” Bel admitted. She abruptly smacked Mirianne on the thigh again, with rapid staccato taps. “Ooh, Miri, turn it up, turn it up! It’s starting!”

The girls leaned forward, enthralled, as the reporter launched into the oft told story of Shepard’s recovery after the Reaper Invasion and the efforts that she spear-headed to find the Normandy and her crew.

* * *

Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani adjusted her mic and checked the lighting on her camera one final time. This wasn’t the kind of hard hitting story that she was used to handling. In fact, she had been more than a little bit offended when her producer asked her to cover the Shepard–Alenko (or Shenko as all the gossip vids and mags were so eloquently calling the couple) wedding. It surprised her to no end to find out that Major Shepard herself had requested that she do Westerlund News’ coverage of her nuptials. Khalisah had always had a rather troubled relationship with Shepard throughout the years she’d followed her story and she wasn’t sure if the request was the result of a grudging respect that had developed or if, instead, it was some sort of practical joke designed to stymie the reporter with a fluff piece. No matter the intent behind it, her producers were not about to refuse a request from the bride and Khalisah had eventually realized that the wedding would be watched by the entire galaxy. That level of exposure certainly couldn’t hurt her career. She idly wondered if Diana Allers had received the same dubious honor for ANN.

She positioned herself on the edge of the Presidium walkway overlooking the picturesque central lake. Although a view of the dais where the ceremony would take place would be ideal, there were too many guests and security officers milling about to make it feasible. She watched as she had hundreds of times before as the light on her camera blinked first red, then yellow, then green signaling that her feed was live.

“This is Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani coming to you live from the Presidium Commons, where, in about an hour, Major Jane Shepard, the savior of the Citadel twice-over and the hero who wiped out the galactic Reaper threat, and Major Kaidan Alenko, her long time crewmate and commander of the First Special Operations Biotic Company, will be married. By now almost everyone is familiar with their romance that has taken on near mythic proportions. What began as a battle tested friendship, grew into so much more as the star-crossed pair chased Saren Arterius and his flagship Sovereign, which we now know to be the forerunner of the Reaper Invasion, across the galaxy nearly five years ago.

“But the path to the altar wasn’t a straight one. We’ve all heard the story of Shepard’s miraculous recovery after the destruction of the Reapers, when, for three tense days she lay in a coma as medical experts did everything they could to determine a plan of treatment to care for war hero. In the end it was Shepard’s cybernetic upgrades that hastened her recovery, vastly improving her body’s regenerative powers. Upgrades she received during her two year absence from the galactic community. Their six month separation following the Battle of London was actually the second time that the couple, no strangers to the possibility of loss in the line of duty, had been pulled apart by circumstances beyond their control.

Happily Ever After 3/?

“Investigators searching the Cerberus base found in the Horsehead Nebula during the lead up to the final battle with the Reapers uncovered evidence indicating that then Commander Shepard had, in fact, died following the SSV Normandy’s destruction above Alchera in 2183, a revelation that strains the bound of credulity. While she was being reassembled by some of the galaxy’s top scientists, at the time employed by Cerberus, then Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko was picking up the pieces and trying to move on. Fortunately fate intervened, bringing the two back together as they fled Earth to gather support to fight the Reaper Invasion and they were able to rekindle the flames of their romance as they worked together to build a pan-galactic fleet to take on the enemy. Majors Shepard and Alenko share a love that truly does conquer all.

“We’ll be back after these messages, when I’ll be speaking to some of the couple’s guests and friends.”

Khalisah took the opportunity to grab a few gulps of water as scoped the crowd for an interview. Though she noticed Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard, she thought it would be in poor form to ambush her with the ceremony starting in just over half an hour. That didn’t stop her from filming a few seconds of candid footage of the mother of the bride catching up with Alliance acquaintances. Surely they could use that as a bumper on return from commercial.

Nearby the Rear Admiral, also affably talking with fellow officers, stood Admiral Hackett. As the face of the Alliance Military since the Reaper Invasion he would unquestionably be good for a sound bite or two. She approached him at a natural break in conversation to see if she could borrow a few minutes of his time. Pulling him away from the flow of traffic, she positioned herself across from him as her camera blinked its warning that she was about to go live again.

“We’re back, live from the Presidium,” she began beaming at the camera. “I’m here with Admiral Steven Hackett, one of the top-ranking officials in the Alliance Navy, and Major Shepard’s commanding officer.” She turned to face him. “Admiral Hackett,” she continued, “welcome.”

“Thank you, Khalisah, I’m truly thrilled to able to be here today to celebrate two of our most decorated officers,” he replied amiably. The interview was off to a very standard start. No surprises here.

“You’ve been closely connected to Major Shepard’s career since you recommended her for evaluation as a Spectre Candidate before the SSV Normandy’s famed first run to Eden Prime. How has it been for you to watch her growth as an officer?”

“I couldn’t be more proud,” Hackett replied apparently truthfully from the winning smile he gave the camera. “Shepard is the best example of what the Alliance can be. She’s a model of bravery, devotion to duty, and a leader the likes of which we haven’t seen since Jon Grissom during the First Contact War. I have been lucky to have such an able soldier serving under my command.”

“And Major Alenko?” Khalisah prompted.

“While I haven’t had the opportunity to work quite as closely with Kaidan Alenko, I understand his efforts assembling and commanding the biotic Special Operations squad were exemplary. He was one of the first humans with biotic abilities to enlist and has paved the way for many more to join. He has been a trailblazer within the Alliance military.”

“Will the Alliance be calling the Majors back to active duty very soon?” Khalisah asked.

“Well we hope to give them a couple of weeks off after this,” Hackett replied. “Let them get settled in a bit before we push them back onto a ship.”

“And what is the Alliance’s policy regarding infractions against the fraternization regulations?” She asked, trying to keep her tone playful.

Happily Ever After 4/?

Hackett emitted a forced chuckle, “Well, Khalisah, I haven’t heard any accusations alleging misconduct by either Major Shepard or Major Alenko over the course of their service. The Alliance still takes the rules against fraternization very seriously; however, we also recognize that sometimes relationships will take place between consenting adults. At present, we have not opened any discussions regarding those regulations.”

Khalisah was impressed with the answer, in which the Admiral managed to say essentially nothing. “Thank you so much for your time, Admiral Hackett. I’ll let you get back to enjoying celebration.”

“You too, Khalisah. Hackett out.”

Khalisah scanned the crowd as Admiral Hackett returned to his retinue of Alliance personnel. Miranda Lawson was entering through the security check at the moment.

Khalisah flagged her down. “Miss Lawson! Do you have a moment?” Miranda altered her trajectory and headed toward the reporter. She was striking. Her long brown hair was pulled up in a complicated twist laced with braids. She wore a cobalt blue strapless dress that made her eyes sparkle almost as much as the diamond choker that encircled her neck.

“Good afternoon, Miss Lawson. You look absolutely stunning today.”

“Thank you, Khalisah,” Miranda demurely replied looking away from the camera

“Tell us who you’re wearing.” Listening to herself, Khalisah wanted to bang her head against the nearest wall. She hadn’t spent years building a career in investigative journalism to spend her time investigating pseudo-celebrities’ closets.

“It’s by a young Asari designer named Aelina. Isn’t she amazing?” Miranda did a little flourish to show off the drape of her gown.

“Yes, quite,” Khalisah agreed. “Miss Lawson, you were Shepard’s executive officer aboard the Normandy SR-2 during the Collector attacks. Not much is known about the mission aside from the destruction of the Collector base near the galactic core. What was it like working with Shepard every day during that year?”
“Well Shepard was the consummate professional,” Miranda began. “She was dedicated to recruiting the best team in the galaxy to give humanity its best chance against the attacks.”

“You were a part of the team that worked on Shepard’s reconstruction for the terrorist organization Cerberus,” Khalisah cringed inwardly. This wasn’t an expose; it was an A-list event. She’d have to backtrack. “You pulled off a miracle bringing Shepard back to fight the Reapers. How did your knowledge of that process affect your relationship with her?”

Miranda’s face softened when she realized Khalisah was pulling her punches, “We actually had a few bumps in the road over that one. Although she was certainly grateful to be back, I knew much more about her than she did about me at first.”

Khalisah was relived not to have created an incident. “You worked with both Major Shepard and Garrus Vakarian at the time. Is there any truth to the rumor that they had a relationship before she reconciled with Major Alenko?” she asked. It was still controversial, but much more in the theme of lighthearted gossip.

Happily Ever After 5/?

“A relationship?” Miranda repeated. “While those two have always been close, there’s never been anything romantic between them. Shepard kept a picture of Kaidan Alenko on her desk the whole time we were fighting the Collectors,” Miranda paused. “Shit, I probably shouldn’t have said that.” Another break. “Or that.” Khalisah fought to repress a chuckle. She sounded like the information broker Liara T’Soni, who had a bad habit of putting her foot in her mouth in interviews. The story that she was the fabled Shadow Broker was the most ridiculous theory Khalisah had ever heard.

“So the photograph that recently surfaced of the two of them alone on top of the Presidium…” Khalisah left the question as an implication.

“Is most likely genuine,” Miranda supplied. “But there were sniper rifles in that shot, too. And I can guarantee you that nothing more untoward than a shooting competition took place. You should try being on a comm link with the two of them during a firefight.”

Khalisah politely giggled.

“Hey there, Cheerleader!” a heavily tattooed and scantily clad woman called, from across the walkway, interrupting the interview. Miranda almost imperceptibly rolled her eyes. “Want me to save you a seat?”

“Sounds like you should be going,” Khalisah offered. “Thanks for stopping by to talk with us and have a wonderful time today.”
“Thank you, Miss al-Jilani,” Miranda replied, “You do the same.” She walked off in the direction the tattooed woman had gone, but made no efforts to catch up to her.

Jack, more colloquially known as The Psychotic Biotic, had become something of a tabloid fixture as a result of her “cutting-edge” fashion sense and “avant-garde” haircut. Though she had cleaned up a bit and redeemed herself of her criminal past through the part she played in the Battle of London, she still scared the piss out of Khalisah, whose lack of desire to interview her was thankfully buoyed by the fact that there was no profanity filter yet created that could keep up with that woman’s mouth.

She panned her camera across the arriving guests. In came Tali’Zorah vas Normandy, in the best envirosuits could muster as formal wear, arriving alongside Dr. Liara T’Soni, who was resplendent in a violet gown. Khalisah stepped forward ready for her next interview.

“Tali’Zorah!” She called. “Over here! Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani of Westerlund News!”

* * *

“Looks like Tali just blew off that Westerlund News hack,” Garrus reported, dropping the curtain back in front of the window that looked out over the wedding pavilion. “That’s my girl.” He smiled and turned around to face the bride, who at the moment looked very unimpressive in her N7 sweatshirt. He wondered if she had multiples or if she just wore this one 5 days a week until it was time for laundry. Hannah and Mrs. Alenko had just left them after being goaded out of the room by the wedding planner.

“How are you two doing right now?” Shepard asked. That was just like her, to ask him about his relationship when she was getting ready to walk down the aisle. Of course, he didn’t really understand the aisle bit anyway. Turians used circles.

“As well as can be expected,” he replied. “She’s pretty important back on Rannoch, and I’ve got my hands full assisting Primarch Victus with the reconstruction on Palaven. I’m honestly not sure how much longer it’s going to go on.” He paused. “You know, today will be the first time we’ve seen each other in almost two months. It’s not like we really sat down to talk about what we would do after the Invasion before we started this. We didn’t think there would be anything to come back to.” He sighed. “I’m glad things have been easier for you and Alenko.”

Happily Ever After 6/?

“That’s too bad, Garrus,” Shepard said sympathetically, “I was really pulling for you two. Maybe you’ll find a way to make it work yet,” she added. Shepard turned back to the mirror and continued putting on her makeup. They’d offered to send someone to do it for her and, typically, she had refused. “And really, Garrus? Easy? Do you remember how horrible I was after Horizon? Or how boring it was for you to be stuck on that moon for 12 weeks?”

“Well, I really just meant easier than it was three years ago, but point taken, Shepard,” Garrus conceded. “When I came up to your cabin after you finished talking with the Illusive Man, I wasn’t sure if you were going to punch me or burst into tears.”

“Both, as it turned out!” Shepard chirped. She dusted a final swipe of bronzer across her cheekbones and set her makeup bag aside. Garrus was surprised to see her walk over to the closet and grab a shoebox size package out of the top. “Seriously, Garrus, thank you for being there for me back then. And thank you for being here for me now.” She handed him the gift. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. After all, someone once told me that ‘there is no Shepard without Vakarian,’ so, umm, thanks for making this all possible!”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Garrus replied. He eyed the box with suspicious anticipation. “Can I?”

“Go ahead,” Shepard encouraged.

With a few quick swipes of his talons, Garrus had the ribbons and paper lying in shreds at his feet. As he opened the lid to the box his steel blue eyes, which already seemed to glow anyways, lit up with excitement and mirth.

“No way, Shepard! I can’t believe you found this. Is this…” He pulled the gun out of the box and pointed it toward the mirror admiring his reflection.

“The same model that Kirrahe had back on Sur’Kesh,” Shepard finished for him. “I’ve never seen you drool over anything quite like that before. It seemed like the perfect gift for my best man.”

Garrus set the gun down on the dressing table and draped his arm across Shepard’s shoulders. “Thank you, Shepard. It makes the toaster oven I got you and Alenko look pretty lame.”

“You got us a toaster over?” Shepard rolled her eyes to the side.

“Of course not. They’re hardly up to regulation for an Alliance ship,” he teased. “Now when are we going to get you in that dress? Aren’t you getting married in about 15 minutes?”

“These things never start on time,” Shepard rationalized, “and the shoes really aren’t very comfortable.”

“And going toe to toe with a Reaper armed with nothing but a laser targeting gun was?”

“I was in my element.”

“Come on Shepard,” Garrus coaxed, “you can’t keep your adoring public waiting forever. Think of the Asari maidens just waiting to swoon over you.”

“I thought you were the object of most of the swooning that was going on these days.”

“No, that’s just the Krogans,” he answered. Garrus pointed at the side of his face and motioned around the area that had been mangled by a rocket from a gun ship back on Omega. “The scars,” he offered in laconic explanation. “Now get going.”

“Alright already!” Shepard went rustling back into the closet and pulled out a garment bag. Garrus waited patiently as she wriggled into it and then present him her back. “Zip me!” she ordered.

“I really don’t have the manual dexterity for this. These things are so tiny.”

“It’s okay,” she responded, “just give it a tug.” Shepard sucked in and squared her shoulders and Garrus ran the silly contraption up just below her shoulder blades.

“Just be glad I didn’t get one that buttoned down the back,” she joked as she turned around. “What do you think?”

Happily Ever After 7/?

Garrus didn’t really find humans attractive. They were pink and soft and the whole levo/dextro split tied his head in knots – and his stomach, the one time he made the mistake of going for the wrong snack bowl at a bar – but he had to admit that, at that moment, Shepard was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her coppery hair was left down, just brushing the top of her shoulders and the nape of her neck and the plain pearl studs she wore in her ears matched the beaming white of her smile. The dress itself was simple. No lace or beading or jewels, but the fabric draped perfectly across her. The strapless bodice lay just below her arms and then flowed into the skirt that swung briskly around her legs and unexpectedly stopped just above her knees. It was her face, though, that Garrus found the most entrancing. Her cheeks were slightly flushed in anticipation and her eyes radiated true, unapologetic joy. Garrus hoped he could find that for himself one day, but until he did this moment was enough to make his heart burst.

“I think Kaidan Alenko is a very lucky man.” It didn’t come out quite as playfully as he had intended.

Shepard smiled, apparently pleased with the response, and went in the closet for the offending shoes, a pair of satin peep-toe pumps with a stone cluster at the toe. She sat down and slipped them on and then pinned a birdcage veil made of heavy, wide netting into her hair. With one more coat of lip gloss she was done.

A small waif of a girl wearing a headset and carrying a clipboard that signified she was a part of the event staff popped her head in the room. Garrus thought she couldn’t be older than nineteen.

“We’re ready for you in five, Miss Shepard, umm, I mean, Major Shepard, sir,” she stammered. “I mean, ma’am!” she corrected and fled from the room.

“You ready for this?” Garrus asked.

“Almost,” she replied as she reached in the drawer of the vanity. She stood up and placed a small, rectangular velvet box, the kind humans used to store jewelry, in his palms. “Just one more final touch.”

Garrus flipped open the lid and was surprised to find not the necklace he had expected, but a very ornate military medal. Judging by the gleam, this wasn’t given out often.

“When did they award this to you?” Garrus asked as he lifted the medal out of the box and opened the catch. “And why didn’t I get an invitation to the ceremony?”

“Because it’s not mine,” Shepard responded tersely. “It was awarded to Admiral Anderson. Posthumously.” Garrus had seen this before. Her sudden economy with words indicated she was struggling not to let her emotions get the better of her. He didn’t press her, but carefully pinned the medal to the fabric of her dress, just above her left breast.

“Perfect,” he said nodding his head in approval. Shepard sat back down in the chair by the vanity looking somewhat smaller than she had moments before.

“Kahlee… umm, Kahlee Sanders asked me if I would wear it today.”

Garrus could see she was truly struggling for the first time today and went over to her side and picked up her hand surrounding it with his claws.

“It’s an honor,” he said as he knelt down to get to her level. “You know that she’s right. Anderson would be proud to know you’re wearing it today.” He searched for the right words. “I know you wish he could have been here. I do, too. But his sacrifice is part of what made today possible. That’s why he went up to there with you, to fight so that you could have the life he wanted for you, and that he had only hoped for himself.”

He couldn’t think of anything else to say. Impulsively, he leaned forward and kissed her gently on the cheek. Her eyes were dewy and solitary tear escaped. He reached under her veil and caught it on the tip of one of his talons. Shepard finally chuckled softly. She took a deep breath and patted her fingers under her eyes. Squaring her shoulders she stood up.

Happily Ever After 8/?

“You’re right,” she announced. “Now if you’ll hand me that bouquet, I believe we have a wedding to put on.”

They left the dressing room and headed down the hallway to where the slip of a production assistant was waiting for them. She cued the music change when the mothers had been seated.

“You’re sure you don’t want me to walk you down that aisle, right?” Garrus teased. “I’d hate for you trip in those dangerously uncomfortable shoes of yours.”

“Shove it, Vakarian,” she replied, the expected Shepard fire back in her voice. “I made it down that never-ending catwalk on the Crucible to destroy the Reapers on a broken ankle didn’t I? This will be a piece of cake.”

The girl in the headset motioned for him that it was time to leave. Garrus shot Shepard a wink as he rounded the corner into the garland bordered aisles.

“I’ll see you up there,” he promised.

* * *

Kaidan Alenko had never been so nervous in his life. He discreetly wiped his palms on the thighs of his dress blues as the crowd turned to watch Garrus Vakarian, Shepard’s unorthodox Turian best man, enter the pavilion. Kaidan Alenko had faced down charging Brutes, he had almost single-handedly assembled a human biotic force intended to rival the Asari commandos, he had killed a Turian with his mind at the age of sixteen, but he had never before been married. Garrus joined him on the dais taking his place across from him. Kaidan drew in a deep breath as the crowd turned expectantly for the bride’s grand entrance.

Shepard had taken his breath away the moment she stepped on to the Normandy back at Arcturus Station before their shakedown run to Eden Prime. He found himself staring at her when he thought no one was looking and occasionally missed targets while watching the lethal whirlwind into which she transformed on the battlefield. He’d spent countless hours looking at her face, her picture, even that damned unauthorized VI during the years he thought she was gone forever, but none of that had prepared him for the vision before him. Kaidan was utterly enraptured as she gracefully sashayed down the aisle, holding a bouquet of pink tulips, her favorite he knew, as her dress swished around her. She was positively beaming and moved perhaps a touch more quickly than was traditional, as if she were restraining herself from running headlong toward the end of the aisle, toward the beginning of their future together. And while the eyes of the entire galactic community were resting on Major Shepard, her eyes were locked on him.

Kaidan extended his hand to her, which she took as she stepped up on to the dais and took her place under the arbor. He couldn’t remember a time in his life when he had been happier than he was now staring into the face of his beautiful bride. Then Urdnot Bakara raised her arms and began the wedding ceremony.

The ceremony itself was something of a blur to him, which was fine for him. With the galactic news cycle what it was, he was sure he’d be able to watch the highlights, or any faux-pas he committed by the time the party was over. Kaidan repeated what he was supposed to repeat, took the ring from Garrus when it was offered, and when he was told to kiss the bride, he wrapped his arm around her waist and drew her to him.

At that moment time stopped. Shepard looked up at him, and, in a move that can only be attributed to her boundless charisma, plucked the white peaked cap off his head and transferred it to her own. A thousand flashes lit the Presidium. Kaidan paused for a moment, staring deep into Shepard’s green eyes, then dipped her backwards and planted his lips full on hers, just as they had discussed - passionate, lengthy, but not messy.

Kaidan led her back down the aisle on his arm to the cheers and applause of the crowds around the Presidium, and their friends and family alike. They retreated to room Shepard had been using to dress before the ceremony to allow everyone to file out for the ceremony, finally achieving a quiet moment to themselves.

Happily Ever After 9/?

Shepard looked at him, smiling from ear to ear. “I love you, Kaidan Alenko,” she proclaimed. Kaidan wrapped his arms around her waist, picked her up, and spun her around.

“And I love you, too!” He kissed her again, unconcerned about the lighting or angles.

“Now the fun can really start!” Shepard declared mischievously. Garrus came in on their heels, and Shepard ran over to give him a hug.

“Well you two, you’ve finally done it. You raised an army and saved the galaxy, but who knew your greatest challenge would be getting married?” Garrus paused, looking at the two of them. “Well, uh, I’m changing out of this uniform into something a little more comfortable for the party.” He headed for the adjoining room, “Let me know when you’re ready to go, and I’ll have our fancy wedding transport brought around.”

“You mean the cab, Garrus?” Shepard raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. But not just any cab. This one has a bottle of champagne in it,” he said as he turned the corner.

“Wait, did you get something for you, too?” Shepard called out. Kaidan marveled at the concern she constantly showed for those who were close to her. Even in the little things, like, did everyone have booze? Actually, on second thought, with Garrus and Shepard that might have been one of the bigger things.

Garrus stuck his arm out from behind the door frame. He was holding a flask. “You know me better than that, Shepard!” he called. His arm disappeared back behind the door, followed by a slam, and he was heard from no more.

“Well Mr. Alenko,” Shepard began, turning her attention to her new husband, “it looks like we are finally alone.”

Kaidan took a few steps over toward his bride. “Yes we are, Mrs. Alenko.” He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and pulled her to him.

“Oh stop, Kaidan!” She swatted his forearm. “You know I’m not changing my name.”

“I know. But it’s still fun to say.” He lowered his head to her shoulder and purred into her neck. “Mrs. Alenko.” Shepard threw her head back and laughed with glee. Kaidan took the opportunity to kiss her neck, brushing her hair aside. She shivered and goose bumps broke out across her shoulders.

“You are the most ravishing bride that has ever graced the Citadel, probably the rest of the galaxy as well,” Kaidan declared as he reclaimed his cap and tossed it onto the chair in the corner. “And that was very charming stunt you pulled with the hat, by the way. Well played.” He resumed kissing her neck.

“Thank you, dear husband,” she replied. “Wow. That sounds strange. But also right. I like it.” Kaidan ignored Shepard’s musings and continued kissing any uncovered inch of skin he could find, across her neck and down to her shoulder. With one hand still wrapped around her waist he moved the other one up her side and over the gathered fabric of her bodice, down her arm and across her chest. He felt himself stiffening and pressed his erection against her back.

“Kaidan,” Shepard chided. “We still have to get to the reception.”

Kaidan, undeterred, let his hand wander over her breast and gave a gentle squeeze. Between the tightly woven silk of her dress and the padding underneath, he couldn’t find her nipple. Shepard sighed and relaxed back against Kaidan. She turned her head up to find his mouth and kissed him deeply, their tongues dancing. Kaidan dropped his hand to her side and swept his fingers up her thigh, under her skirt, moving further inward as he went. He brushed his finger across her panties and Shepard shook in response. He knew she wanted him as much as he wanted her.
Kaidan started to sneak his fingers under the elastic when she broke off their kiss and disentangled herself from him.

“Kaidan,” she rebuked, “we’ll have plenty of time for that later.” She smoothed her hair and then turned toward the door Garrus had disappeared through minutes before.

Re: Happily Ever After 10/?

“Garrus!” she cried. “Aren’t you ready yet?”

Kaidan took the opportunity to grab his cap off the chair and diplomatically held it in front of him. The Turian popped his head out and then stepped out from behind the door.

“Well that was awfully fast,” he noted. “I barely had time to get my suit on and change shoes.”

From over Shepard’s shoulders Kaidan looked at their friend and shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows meaningfully. Garrus shrugged in response and his mandibles puffed out as if to say, “I really tried for you, man.”

Though the reception hall wasn’t all that far from the ceremony site, the traffic that the marriage of the only two human Spectres had generated made the journey about three times as long as it should have been, time that Kaidan Alenko gratefully took to recover from his near encounter with his new wife while sipping champagne.

The wedding party was announced before they entered the reception hall. The happy couple made the rounds mingling with all the most important guests. Kaidan realized during these rounds that he knew fewer people than he had realized. The Salarian Dalatress, while she apparently remembered Shepard well, and not especially warmly, had, more or less, forgotten Alenko.

Kaidan was gazing up at the strings of lights draped across the ceiling of the venue, which looked amazing, as did the food, which he didn’t have an opportunity to experience, when he was called to the center of the room. He and Shepard took to the dance floor for their first dance. Shepard acquitted herself remarkably well given her legendary lack of dancing ability. Then Kaidan danced with his mother, and following that he danced with Hannah Shepard while Garrus took the bride for a spin around the dance floor.
Although Shepard looked a little lost without a good lead, judging from the reaction of the crowd around the dance floor, it was very sweet.

“Shepard.” A deep voice rumbled, as they left the dance floor and headed to speak with more guests.

“Wrex.” Shepard responded in monotone.

As long as he lived, Alenko would never be able to understand this strange ritual greeting his wife shared with the Krogan.

“Wrex! How are you?” Kaidan extended his hand and clapped his old friend on the back.

“Up to my eyeballs in little Krogan babies,” he complained. “I might have to ask you to reverse the cure to the genophage, Shepard.”

She chuckled. “How many children do you and Eve have now?” She asked, calling Bakara by the nickname they’d used for her when they first met.

“More than enough,” was his exhausted response. “Listen, I wanted to come by and wish you both well. We’ve got to head back to Tuchanka this evening, which is probably for the best, since I could drink you two and the rest of this party under the table. And then I’d be in trouble with Bakara for ruining the party. Good luck you, two,” he growled. “Oh, and enjoy the toaster over!” He laughed a slow reverberating chuckle.

Alenko was nonplussed, but Shepard was inexplicably incensed. “Really, Wrex? A toaster oven?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Shepard,” he called over his shoulder as he headed back to collect his partner and their officiant, “‘his’ and ‘hers’ armored chest plates are much more practical.”

After the toast, which Garrus kept just on the right side of inappropriate, and the cake, the crowd in the reception hall started to dwindle. Kaidan took the opportunity to step out onto the balcony to quietly enjoy his drink where he found James Vega smoking a cigar. Without saying anything, Vega held the cigar out to Kaidan, which he gratefully accepted. As he took a long drag enjoying the taste of the tobacco smoke as it circulated in his mouth.

Happily Ever After 11/?

“You drunk yet, Major, sir?” Vega asked picking up the beer he’d left on the ledge in front of him.

“Almost,” Kaidan replied. “There’s a certain expectation that the groom doesn’t throw up on any of the guests’ shoes, but it looks like things are winding down here. We’ll go to Purgatory after everyone clears out, you should come.” Kaidan took a sip of his martini. “Hey, who’s the blonde you brought with you?”

“Oh, her name’s Joella,” he replied. “I met her last week at an N7 event. I’m not sure who invited her, but he’s not the guy who took her home.”

“Good to know you’re still out there searching for true love, Vega.”

“Eh,” James responded noncommittally with a shrug, “what you and Lola got? I’m not ready for that yet. I’d make a real bad boyfriend right now. Once I get through the N7 training program and have more stability and I know where I’ll be stationed I’ll start to think about it.”

“That makes sense, I guess,” Kaidan said. He took another puff of the cigar before giving back to James. Kaidan looked out across the balcony to the arms of the Citadel. From here, you couldn’t see the extent of the damage done to the structure, it looked almost exactly as he had found it when he’d first visited with Shepard to speak to the Council. Gunnery Chief Williams had been with them then, too. With all they’d been through, it seemed like years ago now.

* * *

“Hey Major,” the voice snapped Shepard’s attention away from the window where she had been studying the view of the Citadel’s impressive arms. It was so nice to be surrounded by the people who had been closest to her over the past few years. She couldn’t help but feel a few were missing though. Mordin, Legion, Thane, EDI, Ashley. There was a hole in the celebration that was left by their absence. She looked up to find Joker standing next to her.

“Joker,” she said nodding her head as she took a sip of her drink. “What’s going on?”

“Listen,” he said, “I know I haven’t gotten a chance to tell you this yet, but I’m really happy for you and Kaidan. With what you had to go through to get here, you deserve this.”

“Thanks Joker, that means a lot.” She would have hugged him if she were certain she wouldn’t break a couple of his ribs in the process. “I noticed you waving your arms out there while you were dancing,” she teased.

“Yeah,” Joker sighed. He ran his hand through his hair. “I haven’t been really concerned about looking like an idiot since… well, since we lost EDI.” He looked down at his shoes, embarrassed at having brought her up during the celebration.

“I’m sorry, Joker,” Shepard said. “I wish she could’ve been here, too. I know how much she meant to you.”

“I miss her sometimes. Most days, I’m fine, but others, it just doesn’t feel right without her.” He continued, “I know it was a strange relationship. Kinda like kissing a toaster oven,” and he was back to himself, using humor to hide his feelings, “which, incidentally, is what I got you and Kaidan as a gift.” He grinned.

Shepard covered her eyes with the palm of her hand. “What is it with everyone and toaster ovens today?” she asked no one in particular.

“So where are we moving this party, Shepard?”

“I’ll let the band know it’s time for the last dance,” Shepard bargained, “you tell everyone to head to Purgatory. Aria reserved the VIP room for us.”

Happily Ever After 12/?

Somewhere between 30 minutes and four hours later – Shepard couldn’t really be bothered to keep track of time anymore – she was blissfully drunk, singing loudly, and badly, along with the songs, and showcasing her well-documented inability to dance on top of a table in the VIP room at Purgatory. She was more pleased that ever with her decision to go with a short dress. She felt much more comfortable than Miranda looked right now, but her shoes had been jettisoned at the first available opportunity in favor of a pair of sandals.

“Throw them out the airlock!” she had decreed raucously. “Hey, Liara, whatever happened to Prothy, I mean, Javik?”

Liara had raised her eyebrows and shrugged with her hands up in the air. Shepard had suspected at the time that the Shadow Broker knew more about the last Prothean’s mysterious disappearance than she had let on, but all of that was well behind her now as she pulled Kasumi and Tali up on the table with her for a short choreographed routine from their suicide mission days. Jack pelted them with ice from a chair not far away, while the rotating crew of Normandys past and present looked on in amusement.

Shepard jumped down from the table as her grand finale and received a standing ovation from Miranda. Tali hopped off the table and perched herself on Garrus’s lap. Shepard watched as Garrus slid his had around her hips allowing it to rest on top of her thigh. She caught his eye and gave him the thumbs up. Sooo cute, she mouthed exaggeratedly.

Shepard approached Miranda. “You know who would’ve really liked this party?”

“Who, Shepard?” Miranda played along.

“Jacob Taylor. He always said we were ‘gonna spill some drinks on the Citadel.’” Shepard did her best Jacob impersonation, which, truth be told, wasn’t very convincing, and tipped her drink making a small pool on the floor for illustration. “What’s his excuse?”

“I think the nine month old he hangs around with these days isn’t much for parties.”

“See, Miranda, you’re way better off without one of those.”

Miranda grudgingly raised her glass, bumping it against Shepard’s. “In this particular instance, you may be right.

“I still don’t see why that tool couldn’t just get a babysitter,” Shepard mumbled. Miranda stifled a laugh. She continued at a normal volume, “It’s probably for the best. It would’ve broken Kasumi’s heart if he’d showed up with Brynn.”

“I can hear you,” Kasumi accused from somewhere behind them.

“I’ll never understand how she does that,” Miranda wondered.
Shepard headed back over to the bottles of liquor and poured herself another glass. She reflected that being a VIP had its perks. Every time a bottle was empty a new one mysteriously replaced it. She hadn’t noticed any wait staff or dancers coming through. She wondered if the Keepers worked for Purgatory in addition to their duties around the Citadel.

With her glass refreshed she stumbled over towards where Kaidan was talking with some of his students, passing Vega and Grunt along the way. She had two thoughts nearly simultaneously: the first was that the two were disturbingly close to the same size, and the second, though she wasn’t quite 34, was that she felt old. Watching her two of her junior officers swap war stories made her proud she’d had an impact on them.

She reached Kaidan without incident and hung onto his arm for support. Resting her head against his shoulder she lowered her eyelids and let the room spin in a blurry merry-go-round.

“Hello, gorgeous.” Kaidan kissed her forehead. “How are you?”

“Drunk!” Shepard professed. “And happy.”

“That’s good,” Kaidan replied as he extracted his arm from her grasp and put it around her shoulders. “You almost ready to get out of here?”

“But it’s so much fun here,” she objected, “and I haven’t seen everyone for such a long time.”

Happily Ever After 13/?

“I can think of something fun we can do back in our suite,” he replied suggestively. Shepard was suddenly more alert and sober than she had seemed four a couple of hours. She suspected most of her friends would be here until day break anyway (or at least the simulated day break that was created every 20 hours by the Citadel, following Galactic Standard Time) and now was as good a time as any with an offer like that on the table.

“Let me say goodbye,” she said with renewed purpose and swayed back off toward the slowly diminishing crowd while Kaidan made his regrets to the remnants of his biotic squad.

Shepard rejoined Kaidan a few moments later. As they headed for the door he paused and pointed over toward the corner of the room where two figures in chairs leaned familiarly toward each other chatting across a small cocktail table.

“Would you look at that,” Kaidan whispered to Shepard.

“Is that? No, it can’t be. Zaeed and Chakwas?!”

Despite the fact that the man was crazier than a Krogan at a tea party, Zaeed had always been one of Shepard’s favorites. She loved the ridiculous stories he told. She even had to admit to herself that the stunt he pulled back at the refinery on Zorya was pretty impressive, once she got over nearly being blown up in the process.

“Well,” Shepard said as grabbed Kaidan’s hand to lead him out of the room, “I was secretly pulling for a scandalous wedding one night stand, but those two weren’t what I had in mind.”

“I think it’s sweet,” Kaidan offered.

Shepard and Alenko jumped in a cab that had been brought around to the back of the club for them and returned to the suite they’d reserved for the night. Shepard was impressed by the room. Someone, most likely Liara, had covered the bed in flower petals and left chocolates on the bedside table. Although the couple had asked for donations in lieu of gifts, and most has been sent on to Kaidan’s apartment, there were still a few presents stacked in the chair in the corner of room, including a crate of inferno grenades practically sent by Zaeed. Shepard was relieved not to see any toaster ovens.

Kaidan planted a kiss on Shepard’s lips

“Ooh, Mr. Alenko!” Shepard swooned. “You know, I’ve never slept with a married man before.”

“There’s a first time for everything,” he replied as he trailed kisses across her collar bone.

Shepard turned away from Kaidan. “Will you help me out of this?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

While Kaidan pulled down the zipper on Shepard’s dressed she reached over and picked up his cap again. Her dress fell to the floor. Shepard stepped out of the pool of silk and turned to face Kaidan placing his cap on her head. The view she presented him, white panties and a white bustier, with the marine cap on top, clearly had the desired effect on Kaidan. He crossed his arm and appreciated the salute his wife was giving him.

Happily Ever After 14/?

Shepard slowly strutted over to Kaidan and slid his jacket off his shoulders and wrapped it around herself. When she pressed her body up against his, she felt his rigid length against her thigh. Kaidan bent his head towards Shepard’s face and planted his lips on hers. His arms wrapped around her, his hands roaming lower and cupping the curve of her ass. Shepard stood on her toes pushing herself closer to Kaidan while he slipped his tongue inside her mouth.

With one hand firmly on Shepard’s behind and the other wrapped around her shoulders Kaidan spun Shepard around pressing her back against the mirrored closet door behind them. He kissed her jaw, down her neck, and as he kissed the top of her shoulder he slid his jacket off of her and it fell behind her. The glass was cold on her skin and she arched her back away from it pressing herself against Kaidan.

Kaidan’s hands roamed her body. As he explored her curves – the dip of her waist, the swell of her breasts, the flare of her hips – she pulled his shirt out of the waistband of his pants. She fumbled with the first few buttons and then fought to pull the fabric over his head, his undershirt following soon after. Shepard peppered kisses across his chest, his skin fiery against her lips. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and breathed deeply. This was what was she loved most about him. His warmth and the way he smelled were enough to drive her crazy whenever she got close to him.

When he succeeded in unhooking her bustier, Kaidan turned his attention to Shepard’s breasts. As he kissed her neck he kneaded the mounds of flesh and brushed his fingertips over her her nipples, already stiff with arousal. Shepard took a sharp breath in as he pinched her nipple and emitted a small, pleasured cry. Kaidan lowered his head to her breast and flicked his tongue back and forth across the small, pink bud. Shepard jerked in appreciation as each sensation sent jolts through her nerves and down her body. She pressed herself against Kaidan’s erection as he closed his mouth around her breast and sucked hungrily. Shepard threw her head back against the mirror and moaned.

Realizing how unfair it was that she was wearing nothing but her panties and that Kaidan was still fully clothed from the waist down, Shepard twisted herself away from Kaidan, allowing her access to his belt buckle. With a little bit fumbling, Kaidan was soon stripping his pants off and kicking them behind him. Shepard dropped to her knees and ran her tongue along Kaidan’s inner thigh. He groaned appreciatively when she slipped her fingers under the legs of his boxer briefs and crept up towards the base of his cock. She tugged at the waistband and pulled his underwear down letting his erection spring forward. Shepard wrapped her hand around the base of his penis and slowly brought her mouth closer to the tip allowing her warm breath to play across his nerves. Kaidan sighed as he restrained himself under her ministrations and Shepard dragged her tongue slowly across his head. She took him in her mouth and used her free hand to stroke his shaft. Kaidan tangled his fingers in her hair in response. He wouldn’t last much longer with her attention.

Kaidan picked Shepard up and turned her around to face the mirror. He rolled her panties off her hips and let them drop to the floor. Shepard exhaled deeply as he ran his fingers along her slit and slipped one between her folds. She was wet with longing and anticipation and his finger easily slid inside her. He felt him bend his finger grazing just the right spot and she released a throaty moan. Kaidan withdrew his fingers and moved his hand higher up to trigger the bundle of nerves just above. Shepard felt him drag the head of his down the curve of her buttocks. He readied himself at her entrance and paused. Shepard pushed against him needing to feel him inside of her.

Happily Ever After 15/15

With on swift thrust Kaidan buried himself in her. Shepard gasped with pleasure feeling him fill her completely. Kaidan withdrew and began to set the slow rhythm to which she rocked her hips. Shepard pushed back against him, her arms braced against either side of the mirror. Kaidan locked eyes with her in the reflection and bent his head to kiss her shoulder. Shepard watched her tits bouncing and swaying in the reflection and knew Kaidan was watching the same thing. To improve the view and increase her pleasure, Shepard took one hand away from the closet door and moved her hand between her legs to stimulate herself.

Kaidan grabbed her hips roughly in response and increased his speed, penetrating deeper with each drive. Shepard arched her back to make sure that his tip was hitting just the right spot inside her. She leaned further forward and placed her arm back against the mirror to brace herself and let Kaidan’s rhythm to do the work for her. Shepard’s pleased hums grew louder and more intense as she neared her climax. Kaidan took that has his cue to stop holding back. Shepard called his name out as she came, clenching around his shaft uncontrollably, and with a few more thrusts she felt Kaidan find his release as well.

They stood together, intertwined, for a few moments before Kaidan scooped Shepard up in his arms and carried her over toward the bed. He laid her across the petal strewn covers and collapsed beside her, completely satisfied.

“You look pretty tired, Mr. Alenko,” Shepard teased.

“I’m not that tired,” he replied.

“Want to rent a vid? I bet there’s something with Asari in business suits.” She raised her eyebrows provocatively. Once or twice a year she liked to bring up the extranet fetish sites he had inadvertently alluded to early in their relationship, just to keep him humble.

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Kaidan replied, “but I wouldn’t mind if you put my cap back on again.” He winked and leaned forward with a gentle kiss.

A short while later, as Shepard lay curled on the bed wrapped in her husband’s arms, her last thought before she drifted into sleep was that, perhaps, there was such thing as happily ever after, and that she had finally found hers.

Re: Happily Ever After 15/15

OP Here:

This is seriously amazing. It exceeding all of my expectations.

I absolutely loved the other points of view, the friends watching it on TV, the reporter (can't spell her name, sorry) who is forced to report on the wedding. When she asked Miranda who she was wearing I actually did a spit take. So funny!

And then once we got to Shepard and Kaidan it was just perfect. There was some sad parts, which just made everything that was happy all the sweeter.

Thank you so much for writing this!

Re: Happily Ever After 15/15

Glad you enjoyed it. I had a blast writing it. It took 3 days and 2 bottles of wine, but totally worth it.

Re: Happily Ever After 15/15

Anon loves Shepard and Kaidan. And this story.
Until the end of time.

Re: Happily Ever After 1/?

Utterly gorgeous, fun, fluffy, and hot! Some sad, lots of cute moments. Did I mention hot? ;)

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