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Mass Effect Kink Meme: Mass Effect 3 PART II

Post your requests anonymously, and fill any prompts that catch your eye. We’re not picky around here; anything goes. Fanart or fanfic, het, femslash, slash, threesomes and moresomes, or just gen-fic; as long as it’s part of the Mass Effect universe, there’s a place for it here.


  • All posts must be anonymous, be they prompts, fills, or comments.
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  • No plagiarism. Didn’t think I’d have to point that out, but some people didn’t seem to get the message. If someone’s already written a story that fills a prompt, feel free to link to it, but don’t repost it and claim it as your own.
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  • When posting a story for an old prompt on this meme, please repost the original prompt here, then post the story as a reply to it - otherwise, everyone has to scroll past long stories to see the newest comments on a page!
  • Multiple fills are always welcome!
  • We run fill-a-thons every few weeks, during which new prompts aren’t allowed. If you post one by mistake, don’t worry – I repost them at the end of the week.
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  • It’s ‘Kaidan’, not ‘Kaiden’.

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Fill: Garrus Thinks Femshep is male

So, there was this prompt that I cannot for the life of me find (sorry! Sorry! OP I hope you see this!)

It talked about Garrus complimenting Shepard's waist and fringe, except.. you know. Male turians are the only ones who have those horns. The OP requested Garrus making a mistake and thinking Femshep was actually a guy, hence the extreme nerves on his part.

I call it 'Erratum'. I hopes you like!

Erratum 1

Garrus was nervous as hell and Shepard couldn’t figure out exactly why.

Well, she could speculate. The fact that they were standing in her quarters with the intent of doing thins that Alliance fraternization regulations most definitely frowned upon might have something to do with it, but what little Garrus had told her about his (ahem) private life had been pretty straightforward. That fit with what she generally understood about turians, especially the young unattached male variety. So she couldn’t figure out exactly why he was babbling, practically bouncing up and down on his toes, and obsessing about the music of all things.

Although it was pretty damned adorable, so just this once she’d let it slide. After all, they didn’t have the benefit of nine rounds of violence-induced adrenaline to pave the way for them.

“Woah, consider me seduced, smooth talker.” She purred and walked right up into his personal space. He didn’t back away, which was a good sign, and despite her resolute cool Shepard felt her heart quite literally go ‘pitter-pat’ and she realized that; yes, they were really about to do it.

Funny how Garrus was pretty much the only male in existence who could give her butterflies in her stomach. Maybe she was the one with the fetish; a very specific, single-target fetish.

“I… I’ve seen so many things go wrong.” He stepped closer, so close they were sharing the same air and it felt good. She wanted more. “Omega. My work at C-sec. I just… I just want something to go right. Just this once. Just…”

What Shepard knew about romantic turian gestures could have filled a matchbook, but she didn’t need prior research to let Garrus guide their foreheads together and know what it meant as they stood together just touching as he slowly reached for her shoulder.

“You can’t screw this up, Garrus.” She murmured and looked up at him through her lashes. “This is a sure bet.”

Garrus gave one of those funny little coughing laughs as he found confidence in his touch. “That confident, are you?”

“You know you like it.” She grinned, deliberately showing off her strong white teeth. It was a deliberate challenge, but Garrus seemed to need a little coaxing when it came to taking the lead. She’d suspected that he was the dominant type in bed (which was just fine with her), but he still seemed to be pretty far out of his depth. “Whatcha waiting for, Vakarian?”

“It’s just, uh,” He coughed. “Never been with a male before.”

“A… what.” She tried to keep herself from going stiff as a board as Garrus dropped that little bombshell and succeeded about as well as you’d expect. “You… what?”

“Not that I have a problem with it or… crap. I’m screwing it up already.” His hands closed around her arms, presumably to keep her from moving away. “I’m here because I want to be, Shepard. It’s just nerves, that’s all.”

“You…” Shepard shook her head, trying desperately to figure out exactly when or where things had gone so horrifically pear-shaped. How the hell had they managed to get through an entire… well, courtship for lack of a better term without THAT little pearl of information cropping up? “Garrus, I’m female.”

She’d never known a turian’s mandibles could flare that wide or that their jaw could drop quite that low, but for a second all he could do was gape at her in complete alien confusion before he literally closed his mouth and with both hands. “Oh shit.” He whispered.

Erratum 2

“How the heck did you…” The first cutting edge of shock wore off quickly and it suddenly occurred to Shepard that this situation was pretty damned funny –and getting funnier by the second. It possibly also said something about her or Garrus’s charms that she was still planning on sleeping with the man. She felt a wry smile pull at her lips and she didn’t fight it. “You’re fibbing. I saw you kick Harkin in the gonads. Not the action you’d normally take to incapacitate a woman.”

Garrus however just blinked. “Wait, those were his testicles?” He blinked again. “Your kind don’t keep them retracted?”

“No.” Shepard chuckled and shook her head. “Our males tend to be bigger. You know, the ones with muscles and narrower hips. It’s pretty common knowledge that males tend to be the dominant gender with humans. Didn’t you think it was odd that there weren’t any serving in C-sec?”

“I figured they were all in your military, honestly.” Garrus rubbed the back of his head just underneath his crest and ducked his head. “You were the first Alliance soldier I ever really encountered in person. You, Chief Williams, and Alenko. It fit with what I expected to see. I did think the gender balance was pretty weird when I got onto the Normandy, but I thought maybe all your males were serving with the bruiser fleets not stealth and recon. Spirits, all that reading and I never thought to check… Shepard, I’m so sorry.” He gulped and held his hands up. “I should –I should go.”

He looked so upset that she actually hurt just looking at him. She found a smile somewhere and shook her head. “You were really willing to redefine your entire sexuality just to be with me?” She asked him softly.

“Ah…” Garrus shifted his weight and then shook his head. “Redefine? No. I was, however, prepared to make a pretty significant exception.” He paused. “You realize that I now officially have no clue what I’m doing? All my research was in a… different direction.”

Slowly, very slowly, Shepard unbuttoned her top and let it slither down her arms to the floor. She was only wearing a bra underneath since she’d had a feeling that she’d be entertaining that evening. “Human males…” She cupped her breasts for Garrus’s edification. “Don’t have these.” She smiled when he stepped in close and ran the edge of a fingertip over the top curve of one of them. She could feel the padded tip of the talon hidden underneath his glove and it sent an unexpected tingle down her spine.

She caught his hand and gently pulled the glove free. His breath stuttered (for lack of a better term) as she placed his hand back where it had been before as he explored her. “Shepard, you’re too soft. I could hurt you.”

“No you won’t.” She told him and unhooked her bra, letting her breasts fall free. Shepard rolled her shoulder so that the tip of her breast came to rest in the palm of Garrus’s hand. “I trust you.”

“Shepard.” His free hand snaked around her waist and he pulled her in close, flush against his chest and she couldn’t hold back a soft feminine noise of pleasure that unexpectedly got a growl out of him in response. He pushed his face into the crux of her neck and shoulder and just breathed her in.

Letting herself go limp, Shepard allowed him to support her entire weight. She relaxed into Garrus’s arms in the universal symbol of feminine submission. It wasn’t her usual thing. She liked being on top, but she was testing a theory and was proven right when his arms tightened around her. Garrus lifted his head and looked her straight in the eye. A curious sort of rumbling built up in his chest as she tilted her head back, exposing her throat to him.

“You’re teasing me, Shepard.” He tried for his normal suavity, but that rumble was still there in is voice. She liked it.

Erratum 3

“Just figuring out what pushes your buttons.” She replied and pressed one of her thighs inbetween his. There was a hardness there that had been conspicuously absent up until just recently. What had Garrus said? ‘Your kind don’t keep them retracted?’ She was looking forward to figuring out exactly where Garrus kept his business and it looked like she’d just received her first clue. “You like me female.” She observed.

“I like you.” He corrected and then added. “You being female helps things along, though. I uh, don’t think I could have waited so long if I hadn’t thought otherwise. Damn, I never thought you’d feel this good against me. If we survive this… the crew might just have to get used to being disrupted.”

“Truer words were never spoken.” She touched her fingertips to his scars and was pleased to see him turn into the touch. “You should take me to bed now.” Her pulse was pounding in her ears and the butterflies were back, but nothing could beat the glow of anticipation as he bobbed his head once with an intense expression on his face that she’d only ever seen on the shooting range.

They didn’t speak much after that beyond soft encouragement and gasps of mixed pleasure and surprise. The ‘pillowtalk’ portion of the evening came when they lay tangled in the sheets watching the blueshift aurorae ripple across the skylight over her bed.

“So the turian language has no gender specific pronouns at all?” Shepard had tucked herself up against Garrus’s side and had he head pillowed on the contoured planes of his shoulder. It took some arranging, but they’d managed to find a position comfortable for them both to engage in the traditional post-coital cuddle without anyone bleeding afterwards. “That seems confusing to me.”

“It’s not really.” His voice was a bit muffled as he had his mouth and nose pressed against the top of her head. As it turned out, he liked the scent of her shampoo and the feel of her hair. “Our language relies on context for that sort of thing. From what you say, your language is obsessed with gender.”

“I speak English. It’s not so bad as some others. French? Everything has a specific gender even if it’s an inanimate object and god help you if you get it wrong. With German you have to deal with the male, the female, AND the neuter. I won’t even get started on Japanese. Kasumi tried to break it down for me once, but I didn’t understand half of it.”

“So Joker’s a male?” Garrus asked. “He’s so… uh, there’s no good way of putting it. He reminds me of one of my elderly aunts; all noise, gossip, and eavesdropping.”

“A lot of that is bluster.” Shepard replied sleepily. “He needs it to keep going. Vrolik’s syndrome is rough, but I think it’s even harder if you’re a guy. What I want to know is how you ever mistook Miranda for a man or Jacob for a woman, while we’re on the subject.”

He shrugged. “Well, Miranda’s got pretty much the entire crew in terror of her and Jacob’s always camped out in the armory. He doesn’t come out much. I thought he was, yanno, territorial. Our women are like that. It’s why you don’t see them outside of the home system.”

“So what do you think now?” Experimentally, she hooked an ankle in behind one of Garrus’s spurs. He shifted with a pleased grunt so that they locked together better.

“I still think Miranda is still terrifying. Jacob though, I don’t know what his problem is if he doesn’t have hormones to blame it on.” He shrugged. “I wouldn’t invite either of them out for a drink, if that’s what you’re asking. They’re competent individuals, but not exactly friendly.”

“Fair enough.” She pushed her hair out her eyes and cocked her head. “Do you think of me any differently?”

Erratum 4

“Not particularly.” He grinned. “There’s no-one else whose side I’d rather be at. Your gender doesn’t matter to me. I think I managed to prove that earlier, even it was pretty embarrassing. I do kind of want to go find Alenko and shoot him now. I didn’t like his behavior before, but it seems even worse now.”

“Yeah, well, he was being an asshole.” Shepard curled into Garrus’s warmth and wondered how exactly she’d ever decided to pursue Kaidan over Garrus. She’d been attracted to the turian from the beginning, but hadn’t been able to detect any reciprocity of feelings. She’d let herself be dissuaded and Kaidan had been right there and available and so persistent that… well, maybe Kaidan wasn’t the only one who’d only seen the things he’d wanted to see in their relationship. “I’ve got something better now and… I don’t plan on ever going back.”

“You’re assuming I’d let you.” Garrus rumbled and mock-bit her cheek. He paused and pulled back. “I know when we started talking that the idea was for this to be… causal. You know; just friends having fun. And. We can still do that, but I’m… if you want more. I’m –I’d like that. A lot.”

“Garrus…” She opened her mouth to say more, but EDI’s voice broke in (sounding vaguely apologetic).

“Commander, five minutes until the Omega Relay.”

“I’ll take a rain check on that answer, Shepard.” Garrus murmured and brushed his mouth against hers. “I’ll cash it in when we make it back. Alive.”

“I’ll be waiting then.” She replied just as softly and then pushed herself away with regret.

The Collectors were waiting.



Oh drat. Drat. Drat.

This is the ME3 spoilers section. Sorry, this was originally going to BE spoilery only then it wasn't and I had the wrong thread open.

My bad! *kowtows*

Re: Erratum 4

Loved this. Actually got me thinking if there was a time in which Garrus talked about human genders (once to Ashley in one of the awkward elevator rides >.>)

Re: Erratum 4

This was all sorts of fantastic! First very amusing and then so very adorable. I loved you played it out, both with Garrus' reaction and Shepard's. This was such a cute fill. I really enjoyed it. :)

Re: Erratum 4

Not OP!anon but that was brilliant!! You even talked about language and its so true!! I never realized French is such a female vs. male language!

This could have turned cracky and I applaud you for doing a brilliant job with the fill in such a serious way. Garrus is too cute here.

Re: Erratum 4

Except for the implication that Japanese has complex gender rules, when it actually doesn't use gender-specific pronouns and relies on context...

Re: Erratum 4

Presumably, Shepard really didn't understand Kasumi's explanation...

Re: Erratum 4

That was quite funny A!A, especially Garrus's behaviors.

Re: Erratum 4

OMG, this is brilliant and hilarious as hell! Thanks, A!A

Re: Erratum 4

Love this! Bookmarking for the next time I need a pickmeup =)

Re: Erratum 4

<3 the fill, especially where you pay attention to the *why* of Garrus forming the conclusions he did.

Re: Erratum 4

I always assumed that Garrus mentioning fringes was a subtle "Fuck the comic, female Turians have fringes," but this interpretation is fun.

I am now imagining a variation where Garrus determines human gender based on hair length and presence of boobs, and gets pretty far with short-haired, flat-chested!Femshep before he's like "WAIT WHERE IS THE PENIS?"

One tiny nitpick--as an above anon rather snarkily pointed out, Japanese has 99 complexities but a gender marker ain't one.

Re: Erratum 4

Lol love the prompt, LOVE the fill- garrus thinking shep was a manshep as the reason for no garruslove in me1 is officially headcanon now.

Re: Erratum 4

I got a Garrus-Ashley elevator conversation I'd never heard before the other day with Garrus telling Ashley how he doesn't see many human women on the front lines, and my first thought was to be disappointed that it meant this fic couldn't be canon. XD

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