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Mass Effect Kink Meme: PART X
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Decorated 1/? [FShep/Kaidan]

There were few things in life Kaidan liked better than unwinding after a long day by watching some cheesy action vid, drinking a couple of beers, with a beautiful woman under his arm insisting that the recoil from that rifle should have broken the asari actress's wrist.

"She's a Spectre, maybe she had upgrades," Kaidan suggested.

Shepard snorted. She had her head on his chest, her fingers poised over his knee along with a datapad carrying the latest war reports, thankfully forgotten in this stolen hour or two of silliness. Kaidan had his arm draped over his waist and occasionally he ran a fingertip over the patch of skin above her waistband, where her hoodie and shirt had ridden up. Being able to touch her so freely was still a luxury to him, still gave him a thrill.

"You're a Spectre," Shepard said. "Can you fire a Crusader single handed?"

"Maybe it's an asari upgrade," he corrected himself. "Besides. I'm more than happy with that rifle of Javik's."

Shepard chuckled, shaking her head against his chest. "Next time I meet Kia at the Citadel, I'll ask her."

Kaidan smiled. In her irritation she had shifted a little and his hand had slipped further underneath her hoodie, resting on her smooth skin. He wasn't too old to enjoy a quick fondle on the couch either. As if there wasn't a war going on. As if she had no greater concern in life but a lustful boyfriend growing less and less interested in the film.

"That is the weakest throw I've ever seen," she grumped, one of her hands stroking his side, much as he was doing to her.

"Commander?" EDI's voice cut in through the comm and he felt Shepard tense underneath him, her fingers freezing. "We've received a distress call from the Asari cruiser Nefrane. It's being pursued by Reapers while escorting some research vessels."

Shepard lifted her head. "Can we intercept?"

"Yeah, Commander," Joker interrupted them. Kaidan pressed his lips together, wondering, not for the first time, if EDI shared everything she 'saw' with the pilot. "They're in the next system, they need to hold out for a day, but we can get there in twenty Sol hours."

"Okay," Shepard took a deep breath, turning her head upwards to look at Kaidan. "Set an intercept course, tell them we're coming."

"Aye, aye, ma'am."

"Alert me when we're a few hours out," she said and waited a moment to be sure the line was dead before she smiled up at Kaidan. "I guess we can finish the film at least."

Kaidan grinned. "To be honest, I don't care too much about Sally and her undercover human op."

Eyes sparkling, Shepard wriggled so she was lying on her back, head in his lap. "Too bad, I want to know if she ends up with Helen or not." With this, she turned her attention back to the vid and stared at the holoscreen intently, only the twitch in her cheek belying her amusement.

Two could play at that game. He returned his own attention to the vid. It certainly did have a multitude of factual errors, particularly as Sally was now giving chase down what was meant to be a Hong Kong alley and was clearly a boulevard on Thessia. He remembered when this vid had been released, back when his world was downside up and Shepard was dead. That thought brought him back to the present with a thump. He ran his fingers under the smooth line of her waistband and pushed down past the fabric.

This was unexpected.

Shepard tensed again as his hand came to a rest atop her underwear. The fabric was rough and patterned under his fingers, an edge of the lace catching on a callus on his trigger finger. "What the hell?" he asked, game forgotten, and he gripped her belt with his other hand, lifting to get a good view of what she was wearing.

"What?" She bristled defensively and he raised his eyebrows at her.

"That's a little unusual."

Shepard wriggled, turning her head again so she wasn't looking at him. All the same, her body was betraying her, her hips lifting in to his touch. So, not as annoyed as she might pretend to be. "I didn't exactly leave Earth with a kit bag."

"So this is what you bought?" he asked, tracing his fingers over the seam at the top of her thigh where skin met with the lace.

"Maybe I wanted to impress you," she suggested.

Kaidan snorted. "Yeah, right. What the hell, Shep?"
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OP Here

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod, I love you, a!anon!! This is so great so far!
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Re: Decorated 1/? [FShep/Kaidan]

Ooh, intriguing. Can't wait for more.
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Re: Decorated 1/? [FShep/Kaidan]

loving the start a!a.
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Decorated 2/? [FShep/Kaidan]

AN: Ack, sorry to leave you hanging, anon. Have some new parts!

"Mm rrrssed."

Kaidan cocked his head to the side, wondering what that mutter translated to when it wasn't half hidden by Shepard's palm and his upper thigh. Speaking of, even a grumpy, half stifled movement of her lips so close to his groin was doing nothing for his interest in the film. He worked her fly undone and with the freedom that granted his fingers, discovered that the lace on her underwear was embellished with little roses. "Darling," he said, with the infinite patience of a man discovering reality was falling apart, "they're decorated."

Shepard squirmed, wriggling onto her back and turning his head up towards him. "I'm cursed!" she said in exasperation.

"By lace panties?"

Groaning, Shepard covered her face in with her palms. He continued to stroke her through the lace, wondering if the sensation was any rougher for her, or more unpleasant. He liked the look of lace well enough, but he was happy to see Shepard in any garb, and he couldn't imagine this was for his benefit even for a moment.

After a moment, Shepard relaxed a little, bringing her hands down. "Okay. So after Mars, I was a little distracted," she said. "So I asked Liara to go get me some essentials."

"She got you lace?"

"In fairness to her, only two lace sets. But some almighty Shadowbroker she is, she got my cup size wrong in my bras, but anyway, that's not the point. I had enough pants to get by, or so I thought, but then someone, who I firmly suspect is James, added some starch or something to the laundry and destroyed my five good pairs of plain panties so I was left with one pair I could wear into battle and two lacy sets."

Kaidan sneaked his fingers between the lace and her skin, running fingertips through the short, dark hair to where she was wet and warm. "That was months ago," he said.

"This is only the beginning of the curse," she said ominously. "So I asked Sam to pick me up something next time we were on the Citadel." He hit a sweet spot and she arched her back, the blades of her shoulders exerting pressure against his lap. "Ahh, so, I think this is going to be fine and I have to go get Wrex and deal with these salarians and that's when I caught an Atlas missile to the shoulder and my suit had to medigel me and . . . well, one more pair down. And then there was the rachni blood and then there was Tuchanka again and I couldn't get the smell of smoke out of a pair and I think there's a laundry demon on the Normandy and, well, pretty soon I was back down to one or two battle pairs and the lace things."

Trying not to make any high-pitched noise of amusement that Shepard considered any of her underwear 'battle underwear', Kaidan was at first too preoccupied to notice something. "But we've been back on the Citadel since then. I've seen you shopping on the Citadel."

Her cheeks flushed bright red. "Mmmrgot," she mumbled, and then, taking a deep breath that made her chest bob, "I forgot!"

Kaidan couldn't help himself. He was giggling like a schoolboy.

"There were some really nice guns," she said plaintively. "And then I ended up helping C-Sec out and then it was time to go . . ."

"Let me get this straight. You're wearing uncomfortable, scratchy underwear because you need your comfy ones to fight in and you got distracted from buying more comfy ones by guns and C-Sec being their usual, useless self."

Shepard thought about this for a moment and then nodded. "I considered going commando for a while but all I need is for Allers to catch me with my pants down."

Kaidan bent down to kiss her, managing just to graze her lips while she was laying on his lap before the ache in his back forced him to straight. Shepard levered herself up on her elbows, maintaining their liplock as he sat up. His hand was still curled under her pants and he guided her across the sofa so she was straddling him, her hands now going to either side of his neck, her body down against his fingers. She broke the kiss with a breathy chuckle. "You seem to like them though."

Kaidan much preferred her commando, regardless of Allers' machinations, which he very quickly set about proving.
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Re: Decorated 2/? [FShep/Kaidan]

OP again. OMG anon! You are my favorite. My absolute favorite. I don't even know where to begin telling you everything I love about this. "Battle underwear" had me rolling, and the fact that they're having this conversation while his hand is down her pants also tickles me. And Shep is adorable and everything about this is just everything I hoped for. You are the best and I cannot wait for more!!
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Decorated 3/? [FShep/Kaidan]

He much preferred his Shepard naked.


He took a moment just to admire her when he'd finally sent the last scrap of lace sailing to the floor. In the tussle for dominance and clothing, he'd ended up on the deck between the coffee table and the sofa, his shoulders feeling the chill creeping in from the metal. She was perched atop his chest, his shirt dangling from her teeth as she grinned down at him. He tugged the shirt away and tossed it to the cushions, the better to admire her breasts, nipples hard in the cool air. The soft curve of her belly under the shadow of her muscled abdomen just begged for a caress, the definition of her hips in the low lighting wanted a kiss and the long curls of hair falling back behind her neck framing her pretty face.

He missed her scar.

Reaching up to cradle her cheeks in his palms, he guided her down for a kiss, flipping her to the cold deck the moment she was unbalanced. He bruised himself on the edge of the coffee table during the manoeuvre but it was worth it. The asari on the screen was attempting some insane feat of biotic athleticism while trying to maintain her human cover. He was dimly aware of the thumping music giving his and Shepard's actions an odd kind of urgency.

She was chuckling at his duplicity, looping an arm over his shoulders, making no effort to retake her position on top. The chuckling turned ragged as he entered her and she arched her back beneath him, taking him more fully inside her.

This was still pleasantly novel, in this sanctuary they'd built for themselves, where they could try to pretend to be a couple with no greater fears. He set up a punishing pace, holding his weight above her with his forearms resting on the deck, letting his head drop so he could kiss her neck.

Shepard's hands roamed his back until they came to rest on his ass, digging her fingernails in and throwing him off his rhythm. That made her gasp and roll her eyes back in her head.

She came first, crying out in delight and carrying him over the edge with her. Cramped between the coffee table and the sofa, his suddenly relaxed muscles wavered and he struggled not to collapse atop her.

Shepard sighed softly, content, and promptly wriggled out from underneath.

"So much for the afterglow," he muttered, sliding to the deck.

"That damn floor's cold," she retorted, walking away from him. She headed for the shower, not bothering to close the door. "That was fun though. We should do short and dirty more often."

Kaidan rolled his eyes, collecting their scattered clothing. His fingers closed over the lace and he glanced down at the little flowers and leaves. "You're not cursed," he said to her. "Maybe just a little unlucky."

"Unlucky's all it takes," she retorted, turning the shower on.

Choosing not to ponder this, Kaidan joined her.
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Decorated 4/4 [FShep/Kaidan]

The Nefrane had kept all three of her science vessels safe, giving the Normandy ample motivation to distract the two Reapers on their tails. At the rendezvous point, the captain of the Nefrane wanted to thank Shepard personally.

Kaidan liaised with the science vessels, small, unarmoured boats really. It made him queasy to think of them going toe to toe with a Reaper. His respect for the crew and captain of the Nefrane only increased when he saw the state of their engines.

"Thank you," the Professor in charge of the expedition said to him, leading him back to the airlock. "We weren't sure if we were going to make it."

"It's not a problem," he told the asari. She was one of the shortest of her species that he'd ever met, almost two heads shorter than him.

"No, we're lucky you came along when you did, Major. Pass my thanks to Commander Shepard," the Professor said sincerely.

Kaidan paused, glancing at the other scientists. "Actually . . . there's something you might be able to do for me."

The Professor's face remained passive but she folded her arms. "Oh?"

"A member of our crew left her base in a hurry and has had some . . . bad luck with her wardrobe. I don't suppose any of you have some underwear you can give her."

"Underwear?" The Professor repeated with such scepticism in her voice that Kaidan found himself wondering how soon it would be before the tabloids read 'Second Human Spectre Has Asari Knicker Fetish'.

"I do," piped up one of the maidens. "A pack I haven't opened." She blushed when her colleagues looked at her. "My mother always told me to pack spare," she protested, and dashed off down the corridor, leaving a little biotic corona in her wake. She returned within moments with the pack. "Tell your crewmember they're welcome," she said.

Kaidan smiled at her, and at the dubious looking Professor. "Thank you. I think you'll make our crewmember very happy."
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Re: Decorated 4/4 [FShep/Kaidan]

Op here again. Holy cow, anon, that was fantastic!! The line about him missing her scar hit me right in the feels. I always missed my Shepard's scar after 1, too. That little detail was just perfect. And 'Asari Knicker Fetish' cracked me the hell up. Thank you so much! You are wonderful!
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Re: Decorated 4/4 [FShep/Kaidan]

*happily drooling reader-anon* That was both funny and sexy, and I'm suspecting those weren't 'accidents'.
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Re: Decorated 4/4 [FShep/Kaidan]

This was great.
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