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Unprompted Minifill, in which Garrus learns a new word.

(Anonymous)
“No, really, Joker,” said Shepard, her voice dripping with skepticism.

“I’m serious! She was totally hot for me, kept giving me those ‘come fuck me’ eyes—“

“She was a stripper, Joker,” said Garrus. “You do know that they’re paid to do that, right?”

“Not the point.” He took a sip from his beer and grinned. “Anyway, she had the biggest chest I’ve ever seen on an asari before. Totally motorboatable, if you get my meaning.”

Shepard laughed so hard at that Garrus thought she was going to pull something. She’d had about five shots of tequila, and it was making her silly as all fuck. “Oh my god, Joker, tell me you didn’t ask to motorboat an asari stripper.”

“Uh . . . my translator isn’t picking that up. What does a boat have to do with a woman’s . . . endowments?”

“It doesn’t have anything to do with boats, Garrus,” Shepard said, turning an alarming shade of red. “Joker, why don’t you explain this.”

“Oh, huh uh,” he said, grinning wide enough to split his face. “No, I think I’m gonna let you field this one, Commander.”

“Your cheeks are the most amazing color. I didn’t know humans could turn purple,” said Garrus. The smug asshole grinned at her and Shepard thought, Oh, okay, you wanna play like that, huh? She’d blame it on the alcohol later, but right now seeing the look on his face would be worth it.

“You son-of-a . . . all right, fine.” She unbuttoned her shirt to reveal a few inches of cleavage and turned to Joker. “Care to demonstrate for Officer Vakarian?”

The pilot’s eyes lit up like a five year old on Christmas.

“Wait, what are you doing?” Garrus asked, his gaze fixated on her mostly exposed breasts.

“Well, you can’t do it because you’ll probably rip one of your mandibles off, and you did want to know what it was. It’s easier to just show you.” She stood up and bent down, putting her assets at Joker’s eye level. “Go ahead, before I change my mind.”

“I love my job,” said Joker, and he buried his face in her chest and shook his head back and forth, blowing a raspberry into her cleavage.

Garrus was totally speechless.

Shepard returned to her seat and buttoned her shirt back up, eyes bouncing back and forth between Joker (who looked like he could actually die of happiness) and Garrus (whose jaw was hanging almost to his keelbone).

“Why?” was the only thing the turian could think to say.

“It’s more fun than sexual, and usually reserved for strippers.” She had to bite her cheeks so hard they almost bled to keep from laughing herself into unconsciousness.

“I just motorboated the Commander,” said Joker bemusedly.

Garrus picked up his drink again and muttered into it, “Humans are so weird.”

Re: Unprompted Minifill, in which Garrus learns a new word.

(Anonymous)
:) LOL! hilarious

Re: Unprompted Minifill, in which Garrus learns a new word.

(Anonymous)
damnit I spat milk all over the screen again

Re: Unprompted Minifill, in which Garrus learns a new word.

(Anonymous)
“I just motorboated the Commander,”

LMAO!!!! This was awesome, a!a. LOVED it!


Re: Unprompted Minifill, in which Garrus learns a new word.

(Anonymous)
What a wonderful, funny minifill! Cookies to you A!A!

Re: Unprompted Minifill, in which Garrus learns a new word.

(Anonymous)
... The funny thing is, innocent!Anon came across the word the other day and wondered if she remembered the definition right because it just seemed so silly.

Innocent!Anon was right. Haha, thanks for that. XDDD

Re: Unprompted Minifill, in which Garrus learns a new word.

(Anonymous)
A!A here, and I can say that, having been motorboated before, it is a very silly practice. Seemed right up Joker's alley, too. Glad you liked it, anon! :)

Re: Unprompted Minifill, in which Garrus learns a new word.

(Anonymous)
LOL, hilarious. Also, I just pictured Joker singing that last line in a taunting way.

Re: Unprompted Minifill, in which Garrus learns a new word.

(Anonymous)
Yes, Garrus. Yes they are.

Re: Unprompted Minifill, in which Garrus learns a new word.

(Anonymous)
And the world was full of giggles and nothing hurt.

Re: Unprompted Minifill, in which Garrus learns a new word.

(Anonymous)
Hahaha. I love this.

Re: Unprompted Minifill, in which Garrus learns a new word.

(Anonymous)
Jesus, A!A, what the hell could have inspired this things?

You know what? I don't even care.

I love this meme.

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